HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I love having hate sex.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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