I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
