i don't like sucking hair
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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