STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
