This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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