i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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