scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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