does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I need moral support for this bender
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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