i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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