So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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