My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
