after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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