just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
