So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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