Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
