I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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