did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
