shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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