I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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