well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
