She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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