lets start a swedish sibling band together
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
