Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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