There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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