it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
