I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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