Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
