In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
