..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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