my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
