i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
