come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's official drugs can't kill me
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
