Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
