I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
