And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We left an ass print on the piano.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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