We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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