how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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