just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
