I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
