i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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