You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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