Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
