I heard we made out
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
