if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
