why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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