I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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