id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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