And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
then he tried to convert me to islam
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
