For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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