They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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