scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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