Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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