drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
