youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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