i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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